What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

What do you mean son?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

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Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

My boss called me on a Saturday to let me know he that due to financial reasons, I was no longer needed effective immediatley. 3 days later, he sends me a text asking about work issues. How do I respond?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

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My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

True - how I loved my mum!

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“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Do you know what she said mum?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

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What! how could you do that?